What is Love?
by kelli.k
Summary: Going back a year (summer 2014), we travel into the mind of Sheldon Cooper. Hope you like this little one- shot.


**What is Love?**

* * *

Sitting crouched on the bottom bunk on an Amtrak train bound for New York from Chicago, Sheldon started wondering what this strange feeling he had at the pit of his stomach was. Could it have been the food he had eaten at the various stations now starting to disagree with him? Was he becoming 'train' sick? _Was that even possible_? Sheldon loved trains so much that he immediately disregarded that theory. The food had also been satisfactory so far. It wouldn't have taken two weeks for the food to upset his stomach. That theory was thrown out the window too. The funny thing he noticed though after careful consideration was that he got this feeling after texting back and forth with Amy, whether it be morning, afternoon or night.

For the next almost 18 hours, Sheldon dealt with this issue, ruling out each possible cause after doing research on each of the items on his list until he reached the last item: Amy.

He knew when he left abruptly that 1. Amy loved him and 2. He had probably mocked everything she could possibly want… _a future with him,_ to her face. Why he did such a cruel thing was still troubling him. He knew he had taken out all his frustrations on the one person who understood him, the one person who had stood by him even when he made tragic errors. The feeling sickened him, but that wasn't the feeling he was having difficulty acknowledging. It was different. It was a combination of sadness and admiration; a feeling of his stomach doing summersaults just by thinking of her. He needed to find out what was ailing him so Google became his best friend during that stretch of his trip.

He googled 'love' and hundreds of entries popped up. If she loved him and he recognized it as being love, was it probable that he felt the same? Were the symptoms correlated to this one, little, four letter word? It seemed far fetched that a scientist of his caliber could experience such a basic, primal emotion _but not as far fetched as an alien parasite_ he thought.

The first article he found was titled, "The Science of Falling in Love". Within the article, there were thirteen proven signs that one would know, if in fact, it was love, however, some points were repetitive therefore he condensed them to eight. He read through each, carefully taking notes as he went along so that he could review them and reach a conclusion: was it love he was feeling?

* * *

 _ **Hypothesis: Do I love Amy?**_

 _ **Research**_

1\. "I feel out of control" – True. Hence, the relationship agreement to put some control back into my life.

2\. "It's not about sex" – True. I knew it! Only 36% of the people questioned think sex is important. I've been saying that for years!

3\. "Reordering of daily priorities/changing of clothing" – True. I have reordered my daily priorities. Ever since she started working at the university with me, I have had lunch in her lab rather than in the cafeteria with the guys. I have changed rules in the relationship agreement many times this year. Mostly my fault. I couldn't just spring that kiss on her in the train and then not follow through. I have worn nicer clothes when we go out; she has been dressing better as well… more often than I.

4\. "Being exclusive" – True. I do have strong emotional strings attached when it comes to Amy. I was jealous when she wanted to engage in coitus with Zach. I was jealous when Leonard came home after the wedding he went to with Amy and said that she really knows how to help a guy loosen up. I hit him on his shoulder, twice. I might have hurt him. Then I found out she had accepted a date with Stuart, the comic book peddler of a lesser mind. How repellent! Oh, and I suppose the 25 cats I bought after we unanimously ended our friendship in the beginning qualifies as having separation anxiety. At least with the R.A. in effect, I don't have to worry about someone else encroaching on my woman. I saw her first.

5\. "On average, 85% of waking hours are spent musing over one's object of affection"- False. I don't think about Amy 85% of the time. I do have to work. String theory isn't going to prove itself and Kripke isn't nearly as intelligent as I to do it himself. Of course, when my work was below par, I did lie to him and say that it was Amy's affection that distracted me. Maybe I embellished that story too much because now he thinks I'm getting 'laid' every night. I wonder what that would be like with her. Mushing our bathing suit parts together…hmmm. I do like her firm, round posterior. I've smacked it twice. I would say that she occupies 70% of my time. We do communicate daily and multiple times usually, plus date night and the nights she comes over for dinner and we go grocery shopping together and the zoo. All right, maybe I think about her more than that, probably 78%.

6\. "Going through adversity"- True. I tried to break up with her because Leonard and Penny bought a dining table. It wasn't the actual table but the fact that Amy has made me change and become this caring, affectionate person and I agreed to having that monstrosity in the living room. But we did agree that our relationship was stronger than ever. Well, she said it but I agreed.

7\. "Emotional and physiological instability"- Oh dear Lord, these _**are**_ the symptoms I am experiencing. I do bounce between exhilaration, euphoria, increased energy to sleeplessness- I have slept maximum 3 hours every night since I left Pasadena. Loss of appetite- I don't know if Amy is the cause of that. I probably don't want to eat so much since I can't check out the places thoroughly. Who knows what kind of atrocious things could be hiding in my food. I stick to the basics- hot dogs and pasta. Trembling, no…that's probably from the vibrations of the train. I did tremble once in front of Amy though. I was going to cut the locus coeruleus but got so nervous that I ended up slicing open my thumb and fainting. She has steady hands; she could have been a surgeon with all her knowledge. A racing heart and accelerated breathing. Yes, when we kiss or hug or hold hands. Sometimes I feel those things in the morning when I wake up as well. She felt that too when I helped her diagnose her apparent sexual arousal to Zach. I wonder if she feels that now when I kiss her. There's also anxiety, panic and feelings of despair when the relationship suffers a slight set back. Yes, Yes, and Yes.

8\. "Your partner is unique"- True. Of course Amy is unique. She is more similar to me than anyone I have ever met and I'm the most unique Homo Novus to walk the planet. Of course I have never felt romantic passion for anyone else, why would I?

 _ **Findings:**_

Judging by these proven signs, I have scored 7.5 / 8 (Point 5 was not entirely accurate).

 _ **Conclusion:**_

Most likely answer is that I do love Amy Farrah Fowler.

* * *

However, Sheldon was still not satisfied so he googled some more. He ended up reading a study done by Cacioppo relating to love at first sight. He started pondering the idea of him actually falling in love with Amy at the coffee shop. Even though he _did_ do a double take as he was buying her tepid water, he concluded that it was impossible to instantly fall in love despite research showing that it takes just three minutes to decide whether someone is a potential mate. He saw her as a potential companion within the three minutes of meeting her. He had never asked for anyone's phone number, email or Skype name before. He knew that they had a connection of sorts from the first time she spoke but _love_ … not possible.

He also found out that people, just like animals, search for companions who are genetically compatible as if they are preprogrammed to do so. He laughed at this one. Sheldon thought back to the first months of his intellectual relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler and how they wanted to procreate, in a laboratory of course, to gift humanity with their progeny. He knew he and Amy were compatible, even then. Leonard wanted smart and beautiful babies, Sheldon wanted benign overlords. He also learned about kissing and how it affects the brain's reward centers and that it is addictive.

'Well, of course it's addictive. When your girlfriend's lips taste like brownies or any dessert really, why would you want to stop?' he thought.

Sheldon continued to look through tons of material over the endless hours of travelling to New York.

He found another article stating that being in love means really getting to know someone over time. After four years, he knew Amy like the back of his hand. In fact, he couldn't think of anything that they didn't know about each other, _except perhaps ...how they really felt about each other_.

He realized that 'love' was causing the symptoms. He loved Amy, plain and simple. He wasn't sure when the conversation would eventually lead to expressing these overwhelming emotions but when it did; he would have an answer for her: _that he_ _was truly in love with her_.

 **It is inevitable to fight such a natural occurrence.**

* * *

 **I thought I would entertain you a little more. ;)**

 **The information about love is from actual articles...yes, just like Sheldon, I did the research too.**

 **Hope you enjoyed!**


End file.
